Japan: Postscript

So I never wrote a concluding entry to my summer in Japan. I meant to. But I never got around to it.

Tonight I needed to take a break from the other crazy (school) so I decided to revisit this thing. I still haven't mustered up enough--what should I call it--strength? sentimentality? narcissism? to read my previous posts. I lived it, why relive it? My first session back at therapy (couple weeks ago) my therapist asked me whether it was worth talking about what went on during the summer. I looked at him and said, no. I experienced it, for better or for worse, and I have moved on. At the time, I had just finished reading a book on Buddhist non-attachment so it not only felt like the right thing to say/do, but I also firmly believed it. But believing what you say vs. believing what you feel can sometimes be two different things. The one thing I did tell my therapist was that I didn't know if it [my trip to Japan] was worth it. I didn't say it wasn't worth it. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't. I am kind of at a loss to make that judgment.

Do I still think about the summer? Yeah, I do. Not often, but at times. Sometimes in brief moments of idleness. Sometimes when a song comes on my ipod. And always when I see the scars.

I never really explained at length just how traumatizing some of the events that happened in Japan were to me. I choose not to go there because it takes me to a dark place that I don't have the time and energy for. Remember, I'm supposed to be writing--and completing--my dissertation this year. And if I get caught up in the maelstrom of thoughts and emotions that such recollections entail then it would take me way off track. Not saying that going off track is a bad thing (I'm trying to reduce the self-demoralizing value judgments I tend to impose on life), but going off track in the here and now isn't going to take me to where I want to go. At least at this point in time. Sound vague? Well, yeah! Intentionally so.

But for the sake of this blog, I will mention the hitherto unblogged about moments that I look back on in fondness and gratitude.

My crazy class. They were crazy! But you get a bunch of crazies together and sometimes it works. More often than not, it worked. Here's pic at the closing party:


My teachers were great, they put up with my crazy, especially all my crazy grammar pattern sentences about vampires, zombies, werewolves, and the evils of capitalism:



Chen-san was a great friend to me in Japan. She also put up with my crazy, over and over again. And the only person I've kept in touch with from two summer programs in Japan:


Meeting yet another world famous tattoo artist, Shige, and sounding like a blubbering fool in front of him. But with Chen-san's help, getting on his waiting list, only to realize that I kinda don't want to be on his waiting list:


Reconnecting with old friends:


Meeting new ones:


Appreciating the brevity of time and the shadows of what could have been:


Spending time with my brother in a different country and bonding in ways that may not have been possible elsewhere:



Seeing Buddha:


Experiencing moments of beauty that I attempted to capture even though we all know that such moments are never fully capturable:



So there ya go. The end to my blog about summer in Japan 2009.

But the craziness continues: LA, ethnographing, dissertating, job hunting, etc. etc. etc....

Crazy never ends.

But this blog does.

Thanks for reading.